Quote O'the Day

I've been doing a lot of reading in the last three months. Mostly b/c I spend 45 minutes on the train to the city and back.... I read everything from People Magazine, Harry Potter, to "self help" books... gross, I said it, I never thought I would be one of THOSE people. Lord knows my mother has been buying me self help, get to know yourself books for years. Ever heard of "Buddism, It's Easier than you think?" I generally give my mom the eye roll and then tuck the new piece of literature in the bookshelf or it ends up in the give away pile on one of my many home purges. Anyway, I never thought I would seek out a book to better myself or "deal" with feelings. But, here I am reading "Calling in the One."

Sure, I'm mildly embarrased. Hell, what can I say I got the mighty sucker punch with my most recent break up and I'm trying to expedite the healing process. At 32, single and wanting to be with Mr. Awesome I am at a "by any means necessary" point to help heal any wounds so I don't have any carry over into my next relationship. Which brings me to my point...

The book I am reading has quotes in the margins and the one that really caught my attention and describes so much of what I am looking for and is very simply put:

"It's easy to enjoy each other while on a vacation in Maui. The Key is to find someone you can have fun with during the six hour flight over there." -Tom Arnold!!!!

Cute Dog!

Damn DOG! Ugh…

Last week I came upon my parents mini pin/ Chihuahua chewing up my digital camera cable. I mean seriously what dog goes for the high tech stuff. And, not the easy stuff that you just go replace by making a trip to Best Buy. There he was just chewing away at the end of the cable practically smiling at me. After some noodling around on eBay I managed to find a replacement chord. A few days later I was convinced that I had lost my mind when I couldn't find my favorite bra. I searched everywhere. Where could it be? Literally, I just had it in my hand! I was becoming so frustrated that I decided to step away from great bra hunt for a bit. Then it dawned on me that Rocky is about the size of a cat; in fact he might be smaller. He is perfectly sized for a Hollywood handbag. Anyway, my thought was cats like to sneak under the bed. A HA… I looked under the bed and there it was my favorite cleavage enhancing bra amongst two pair of undies and one flip flop. Mystery solved. Oddly, the little bugger didn't find it necessary to destroy the bra, flip flop or undies. Go figure. However, this evening I was brushing my teeth when I saw Sir Hide & Seek chewing on something… I stepped a little closer to find the little monster chewing on my headphones! SON OF A B#%&!

Cost of a new camera cable $35
Cost of new headphones $22
The look on the deviant dogs face while destroying my property, PRICELESS!

Heading West

My dad was driving me to the train station this morning so I could make my way up to the city. As we were driving down the El Camino I looked to my right and saw a sign that read "House of Tofu." I laughed to myself and thought, "Yep, I'm back in California."

I left California a semi vegetarian, recycler that wore tie die, birks and the occasional piece of hemp clothing. Needless to say a lot has changed since I left. I've ditched the crystals, changed political affiliations, like my steak rare and can't remember the last time I thought about saving a tree!

I moved to the ATL an aspiring rap artist. I discovered rather quickly how competitive it is and after a year of trying to get signed by SO SO DEF RECORDS, I bid adieu to my career as DJ BOOTY SHAKE and hit the pavement to find a real job. And in the almost 3 years I have lived in the Dirty Dirty I have managed to attain 3 real jobs. My track record as it stands is that I give each city at least 3 career chances then I'm OUT. Sometimes you just gotta take a good long look in the mirror, embrace where you come from and head back home.

Atlanta has been a wonderful, gracious host for the time I have been there. I will miss the city, the culture and most of all the people who have taken me in as their own. I have learned so much while in Atlanta. For instance, I now know that the statement "bless your heart," can be deeply sincere and heartfelt as well as wickedly biting. "Ya'll" is indeed much easier and smoother to say than "you all." The beer koozie is freakin genius and I intend on sharing this little gem with all of my West Coast peops. I have been exposed to Banana Pudding for the first time, decadent, creamy, dreamy and fantastic. I now know the difference between a cookout and BBQ. SEC football is a religion and a way of life ("Go Tigers," "WDE"). When ordering Tea in the South it's sweet or unsweet not iced. When someone asks you how you are, they really mean it. Cracklins are a little creepy but Brunswick stew is awesome. The best mac n'cheese does not come from a blue box. Drinking all day is possible just stick to bud light and steer clear of the brown water. The game of "Cups" is a blood sport! If ever in doubt about what to wear to ANY event consult a Southern woman. Her husband or boyfriend may be wearing the same shirt from college but she will look amazing.

Thank you Atlanta, thank you to all of my Southern friends and family that have taken me in and taught me so much. I know with many of you I have friends for life.

Much love,

Kate

Maybe Next Time...

As a single gal, I like to think I take some pride in my appearance. I mean not all the time. I do "casual" or "dumpy" well. However, after living in the South for a few years I have learned to pull it together, accessorize and apply the right shade of gloss and maintain my feet properly.

Recently, I decided to embark on a new form (for me) of grooming. I get my roots done (sorry folks it's not natural). I spend silly amounts of money on conditioner and not that long ago I purchased a flat iron that I'm pretty sure was developed by NASA. I digress…

So, after much consideration and a few conversations with my lady friends I decided to explore "The WAX." This is not to say I have not paid careful attention to my nether region. I am well versed in the artful application of NAIR. I am also pretty Euro in my lineage (Irish, Welsh, Dutch, German) this combo lends my follicles to a less coarse, less animal like growth. My point being, I'm not a beast bu t I feel as a woman and a lady I should look my best and tend to my girly bits.

So, I mustered up the courage and booked an appointment! And, I decided to really go for it… Brazilian! I showed up, right on time 10 a.m, Saturday. The nice young girl escorted me back and told me to take my pants off and drape a towel over myself and lie down on the table. I stood there a minute…and thought, "do I take all my pants off, I mean, my underroos too? I felt awkward and didn't know quite what to do. I poked my head out to inquire."Uh, so...yeah.. do you mean EVERY-THING?" Heather, my personal aesthetician did confirm that indeed the roos needed to go as well.

Heather came back in the room as I lay tentative with the towel draped just so, to maintain any dignity one can have while half nude in a small room with a stranger moments away from having hot wax applied to places God certainly did not intend.


Heather asked me a few questions and then began. I really wanted to crack a joke and ask this 20-something U of A grad how she got into the biz of being up close in personal to lady bits without a medical degree but my better judgment kicked in and I decided to make idol chit chat instead. I mean really what the hell else are you going to do when your leg is cocked and a gal is spreading wax on you like frosting on a cake and the impending doom of it being torn off your flesh is seconds away.

After fifteen to twenty minutes I have discovered that Heather and I attended the same grade school (Almond), Jr. High (Egan) and even shared the same PE teacher whose name now escapes me. We have covered quite a bit of ground in this intimate session. I feel close to her, we are now "friends." Finally we are coming to a close of our session when Heather inquires, "Would you like me to do your backside? "Excuse me?" I say as thought I just choked on a piece of steak. I had to think about what this would mean, the visual was to much to bare. And serio usly, as though last twenty minutes of torture were not enough." I'm surprised I haven't cracked a tooth from gritting my teeth. Red faced and slightly sweating, I immediately respond with "I don't think I can handle that, maybe next time."