When Sandy married mom, he married the three of us. He became the missing piece to our whacky puzzle. 2 kids, a cat, a hamster that ate the curtains and a divorcée, the man said yes anyway.
Many of you know Sandy as a sweetheart of a guy, a scratch golfer and someone you would want to do business with. But for me, he was the most supportive, patient, loving and generous dad.
Last year when I moved back from Atlanta I had the opportunity to live with my parents again. Not ideal for a 33 year old woman but looking back I am extremely grateful for the time I got to spend with Sandy. Each morning I would wake up to the smell of Sandy brewing coffee and cooking breakfast for the dogs (I’m serious). I would make my way downstairs and we would usually rap about the paper, work, his golf game (mostly his putting) or business. On more than one occasion I would vent about my utter frustration with my many layoffs or relationships that went bust, wondering when I would FINALLY get it right. Sandy never judged or lectured he just believed in me and reminded me in his very pragmatic way… “It will happen for you Kate, don’t worry about it, look at me, I didn’t get my career in order until my 30’s and didn’t get married until I was 33”. If I really got him talking he would include some of his earlier career paths that involved some inappropriate “movie” investments and other odd jobs he had done prior to hitting his stride in insurance. He always calmed me down, asked me what my plan was and made me feel like I was going to land on my feet.
Sandy also had a way of making me feel incredibly special. Mom was Sandy’s best friend and teammate; I was his “girl.” And, he made sure I knew it, especially at Christmas. For several years now Sandy had been going to a jewelry store in Los Altos. He picked something out for my mom and he picked something out for me (all by himself). On Christmas Eve mom and I would sit in our jammies, glass of champagne in hand and open our gifts. It was the best feeling to know how tickled he was to see us open our gifts and how loved I felt that he took the time and effort to pick something out just for me.
A few days after Sandy had passed I found myself in downtown Los Altos walking in to the store where he shopped for us. I was walking around and I started chatting with a woman and telling her that my Dad comes in every year and I showed her the bracelet that he got me about 5 years ago. She asked who he was… I told her, and then we both started to cry. Lindsay the woman I had been talking to had been the saleswoman that had been working with Sandy for the last several years. She looked at me somewhat amazed and said “Kate, I’ve never met you, but looking at you he totally got you, he said you were kind of sporty a little bit of a tom boy and not real frilly.” He was absolutely right. I went on to say to her, “ya know, I don’t even remember when he came into my life b/c he has always been there.” Lindsay looked at me with a sense of disbelief and a little confusion and said, “I didn’t know he wasn’t your “natural” father. I felt very proud and full of love.
Sandman was the kind of guy every girl should be lucky enough to have as a dad and every woman should aspire to marry.
