It's been established that I have been dating for 17 years. With dating comes sex... with sex comes responsibility. I kind of feel like Spiderman!
I have been on and off birth control for the last 14 years. I went on it initially to regulate periods and help with headaches and because when I went off to college my mom suggested that I might meet someone I would want to have sex with. I believe her words were "Well, what if you meet Robert Redford or something?" I of course was horrified having just finished 4 years of Catholic school and was still a virgin. I did meet a guy; he was not Robert Redford… not even close.
After years of popping “the pill” decided to stop taking it because I was concerned it would affect my ability to reproduce later in life. I read the stories in Cosmo, I worry, I am not entirely sure what long term use of birth control can do to me in fact I don’t think anyone does. Knowing I want kids, I am a little paranoid. About six months ago I decided to go back on for two very good reasons: 1) I get incredible headaches every month due to hormones and the birth control I take helps with all the super fun things that come along with PMS 2) I decided it might be possible for me to ACTUALLY have the sex again after my last traumatic "I will never date or be vulnerable again" break up.
So here I am 33, and dating. I have met someone that I consider as a long term "potential," meaning I don't knock it out with everyone I meet. Because I enjoy the sex but don't want to get pregnant unless I am with "the right guy" I do what I can to make sure I will not be one of those girls that "ooopsy,' gets knocked up. Even with my responsible notions the actual act of buying condoms is freakin awkward for a girl.
Today I went to pick up my birth control and Walgreen’s and realized I was fresh out of condoms. Some people may think it's the guy’s job. But, if I want sex, and I don't have condoms, I'm not having sex. Because I am in my sexual prime, why would I take the risk of the possibility that my current suitor may not be prepared with party hats?
Picking up birth control is no big deal. I mean, most women have been on some sort of hormone therapy since the age of 16. For my generation it doesn't mean "ooh, single girl DOING IT OUT OF WEDLOCK" unlike generations before me.
To cover up my discomfort in picking up condoms I try to mask my purchase by me throwing in chips, some hair gel, maybe a lipgloss. Tonight I couldn't do it. I didn't have anything I could fake needing and I wasn't in the mood for a snack. So, I grabbed some condoms, quickly, only briefly reading what type I should buy. I saw "for her pleasure" and thought, damn, that's me. Then, I saw lubricant. I've never needed this personally but long time friends have raved about how awesome it is. I thought, "Ok, which one?" I didn't want to be caught reading the directions, indications, and the thought of something warming up on my girly bits disturbs me slightly. So, I went for the only one I have heard of ASTRO GLIDE.
I went to the register, asked for my birth control "Pick up for, Newby, Kate," handed over my condoms and lube, smiled with flushed cheeks knowing the bearded lady behind the counter was judging me. I felt like I had a sign above my head saying "SEX ON AISLE 7. In all of my awkward discomfort I managed to pay, grab my bag, shove it in my purse, turn on a heel and bolt for the door.
